I always have inspiration before writing a blog. Without inspiration, the words I write would probably have no meaning. Earlier today I heard someone say "God will break you to position you; break you to promote you; break you to put you in your right place. But, when he breaks you he does not hurt you. He does not destroy you. He does it with grace." It seems like I am constantly writing about my downs, but this year has been a ROUGH one for me. I have probably cried a grand total of 265 days out of the 365 in a year. No kidding. In the past few days, I have been broken more than ever about my past mistakes. The amount of regret hovering over my shoulders made me want to stay in bed and be depressed. Somehow I would manage to get out of bed and pretend I was okay. Have you ever cried so much that you just get irritated with yourself? Same, girl. I got so tired of drowning in my sorrows and letting the enemy steal my joy. So, I went to the place Satan messes with me the most-my room-and I cried EVEN MORE!! But this time I cried out to the one I knew could help. I sat there and told him about everything that was going on. I told him that I needed his peace that passes all understanding. Then, after I calmed down, I began to talk to him like I was talking to someone right in front of me. I know usually we close our eyes and kneel, but I opened my eyes and imagined he was right there with me. I am always saying I wish I could talk to Him face to face, and for a few minutes, it felt like I was. God began to slowly heal my hurt. Friend, it has been SO long that this has been stealing my joy from me. I can not tell you what it feels like to know that it's okay that I messed up. I finally feel like God can use me. I know I have a purpose. I know that I have worth in Christ.
Through all of that, God didn't hurt me. The enemy hurt me with all of his lies. He broke me gracefully to show me how much I need him. I have been so unhappy with myself ALL YEAR LONG. I tried everything from taking myself on dates, to going and getting a massage. Those were things that only gave temporary healing. Without God, you really will go through life with no real joy. You will find happiness for a few days, then find yourself right back where you started. He is the key to true happiness. Nothing else. I am thankful that he handles us with grace when he needs to break us. I am thankful that he even takes the time to break me and form me into something better! After crying to him that night, I not only got the best sleep ever, but I woke up to read His word and it was exactly what I was dealing with: Psalm 142 1. I cried unto the Lord with my voice; with my voice unto the Lord did I make my supplication. 2. I poured out my complaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble. 3. When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knowest my path. In the way wherein I walked have they privily laid a snare for me. 4. I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me; no man cared for my soul. 5. I cried unto thee, O Lord: I said, Thou are my refuge and my portion in the land of the living. 6. Attend unto my cry; for I am brought very low: deliver me from my persecutions; for they are stronger than I. 7. Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thy name; the righteous shall compass me about; for thou shalt deal bountifully with me. WHOOOO!!! *Insert crying emoji* Y'all I can not tell you in words what that does for me. God took the time out of his day to guide my hand to that passage. RIGHT ON TIME! Just read that and meditate on it for a few minutes. Read it over and over again.
Being gracefully broken can sometimes feel like it is the end, but I promise you that is so far from true. When God finishes putting all the broken pieces back together, you become a masterpiece that was even better than before. That, my friend, is the BEGINNING of something so incredible!
Through all of that, God didn't hurt me. The enemy hurt me with all of his lies. He broke me gracefully to show me how much I need him. I have been so unhappy with myself ALL YEAR LONG. I tried everything from taking myself on dates, to going and getting a massage. Those were things that only gave temporary healing. Without God, you really will go through life with no real joy. You will find happiness for a few days, then find yourself right back where you started. He is the key to true happiness. Nothing else. I am thankful that he handles us with grace when he needs to break us. I am thankful that he even takes the time to break me and form me into something better! After crying to him that night, I not only got the best sleep ever, but I woke up to read His word and it was exactly what I was dealing with: Psalm 142 1. I cried unto the Lord with my voice; with my voice unto the Lord did I make my supplication. 2. I poured out my complaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble. 3. When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knowest my path. In the way wherein I walked have they privily laid a snare for me. 4. I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me; no man cared for my soul. 5. I cried unto thee, O Lord: I said, Thou are my refuge and my portion in the land of the living. 6. Attend unto my cry; for I am brought very low: deliver me from my persecutions; for they are stronger than I. 7. Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise thy name; the righteous shall compass me about; for thou shalt deal bountifully with me. WHOOOO!!! *Insert crying emoji* Y'all I can not tell you in words what that does for me. God took the time out of his day to guide my hand to that passage. RIGHT ON TIME! Just read that and meditate on it for a few minutes. Read it over and over again.
Being gracefully broken can sometimes feel like it is the end, but I promise you that is so far from true. When God finishes putting all the broken pieces back together, you become a masterpiece that was even better than before. That, my friend, is the BEGINNING of something so incredible!
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